There are a myriad of books, blogs and coaches who tell you that yes, indeed you can have it all. Successful business or career, happy home life and the magical happy you. Trust me, I’ve read a bunch and spent 5 figures on coaches working on just this.
I wanted to learn how to just BE. Be in the moment and turn my brain off to the other things wandering around in there.
When I’m in the moment working – I want to be there, but when I’m not in my office doing deep work I want to turn it off.
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Can some people do it? Sure. Is it easy. Absolutely not. Have I accomplished my life long dream of work/life/me balance? Well sort of, because it takes super powers on some levels, patience (of which I have little) and perseverance.
Here’s where I typically get hung up. When I’m deep and narrow into something – I have a hard time being deep and narrow on other things. So when I’m super into being healthy – I feel I need to give 100% to that and other things fall by the wayside. It seems like I can only be hyper excited and focused on ONE THING. By the way – many, including Gary Keller in his book The One Thing. Feel that focusing on only one thing brings better results. I agree – but what about all the other “stuff”? How do you balance it!
Here’s what I’ve learned
- Be realistic and cut yourself some slack. There is no such thing as the perfect life or person.
- Do what brings you joy
- Know what is really important to YOU – not what’s important to others
- Surround yourself with people who bring you joy
- Be in the moment to the best of your ability.
Through my journey, I discovered I spent a lot of wasted time trying to make other people happy. I’m done. Now – if I want to quit work at 2 pm and get my hair cut I do it. If I want to work a 16-hour day – I do it. That’s my balance. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone but me.
I’m realistic about my time and more importantly my energy and what brings me joy. When I’m in the work zone – and having fun, I stay there. Like now – I’m in the writing zone so I’m pumping out content. When I’m not in the work zone – I give myself a break. Perks of being an entrepreneur – but I chose that life because it makes me happy. (see #2)
So that’s the secret – it’s all about being true to YOU and the hell with everyone else and all the self help books on the subject. Your life is vastly different than mine – but in the end life is too damn short to be unhappy.
About that One Thing – yes it works. When you are acutely focused on the mission at hand, shit happens for the better. When I sign up for a road race, I plot my training plan and I focus on that one thing when it comes to exercise – but that doesn’t mean I disappear off the face of the earth until the race is over.
Try being nice to you – and yea, you can have it all.