Happy Friday!
This month in the Thursday Club we are tackling commitment – be it overcommitting or under committing – it’s about finding the magic balance of what works in your life and what serves your higher purpose.
On the inside – I talked about time blocking as your monthly assignment. If you missed the article, you can read it here and access the time blocking worksheet here. It’s critically important that you HONOR – note the caps – HONOR “Me time”. Out of the 24 hours in a day – you need to block time for you. This is your non-negotiable sanity time!
One of the hardest things for me to master on my journey of self-discovery is the process of creating boundaries – specifically not feeling guilty for saying “No” to things that don’t serve me. Logically I 100% understand this, I know the tools, the triggers and YET – I spent my last coaching session working on this with my coach! Why? Because even well-educated and versed people on the subject of personal development still can find themselves in the rabbit holes of “Oops – did I just do that?”! I’m sharing because you shouldn’t feel BAD about yourself for not adhering to boundaries you know should be there – it’s not easy and takes intentional practice.
Let’s learn the power of “Hell to the NO!” and how to do it.
- Learn to honor your spidey senses. This goes back to being your authentic self – you need to 100% understand the difference between what you really want and what you think you want – the latter is based on peer pressure from others. Know your values – if something is a hard no for you – then who gives a rat’s ass what other people think. Just say NO. Yea – it’s reflective of an anti-drug campaign – and the psychological reference is the same. Don’t bow to peer pressure, trust YOUR gut. The other guts don’t pay your bills, run your life – you do.
- You will NEVER make everyone happy and yes, when you have boundaries you will hurt some people’s feelings. Newsflash: YOU are NOT responsible for how other people feel, react to you or live their life. I’m not saying you should be a cocky jerk and spout off your opinions with a bull horn and be all bully-like – I’m saying that if you happen to tell someone how you feel and it makes them feel not great – that’s on them. You have the right to express your feelings and opinions. PS – this is a hard one because by nature we all want to be liked. Very few people crave to be hated.
- Time is precious real estate – No to someone is a yes to you. Learning to honor your time is critical – again that time blocking stuff. When you flip the switch in your head to realize when you say no to that useless meeting, or joining a group that doesn’t serve you it is a YES spot on the ME calendar! Imagine how much time we could devote to our mental health, physical health, creative health if we cut the crap out of our lives? #JustSaying
- Learn to stick to the ‘ole guns. This is like parenting but with your inner self. If you say no, you have to believe that it’s the right thing, be confident and then stick to it. No caving if your bestie begs you to join her book club when deep down you hate freakin’ book clubs and the people in said book club. Stand up and say “Sally, I adore you but I don’t adore book clubs – nothing on you, it’s just not for me, so please stop begging me. Now let’s go grab lunch and stop talking book clubs.” Boom – done. Diffused, honest, over.
- Understand NO is not a dirty word. Think how many times you’ve been told “no” in your life! Seriously – think about it. The majority of those people didn’t think twice about saying no to you. NO is a normal part of life. Embrace it.
This week I want you to say NO to one thing that needs to get the hell out of your life and off your calendar. Just do it – trust me, you’ll feel LIBERATED!!!
Email me and let me know how it went 🙂
Namaste
Cindy