Good morning – happy Friday and Praise God it’s almost Spring – who’s doing a happy dance tomorrow? #thisgirlis
Continuing on our journey of building confidence and resiliency – I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about managing your emotions. This goes a bit deeper than you are what you speak/think. Many people LET their emotions dictate their life experience. When you don’t understand WHY you feel the way you do, what triggers push you one way or the other – your emotions will control you over time.
As time goes on, how you feel – how you’ve been reacting to your emotions begins to consume your life. You know the ole saying “Stop being a Negative Nellie” – well that’s what I’m talking about. If you are consumed with negativity, then those around you will sense that.
When you are in a constant state of negativity – what is really happening is you are driven by fear. At least in my humble opinion.
You know I’m going to say it – but yes, “You are 100% in control of how you feel and this in turn relates to how confident you feel…or not!”
People aren’t BORN with confidence it’s something we all create. What’s interesting is that most young children – think toddlers – are far more confident than teenagers. Why? Because over time we let the influence of others affect how we feel about ourselves. We start to become critical of our minds, our bodies, our actions. We begin to not see ourselves as invincible but of less than what we are.
Confidence is quite like emotions. It’s something we FEEL and we can turn it on….or turn it off.
The more we practice being superhuman – you know, donning your cape and flying – then the more we are in that state of being.
The less we practice – the more we stay in the “Negative Nellie” land….ergo less confident.
A very wise therapist once told me – “Cindy, you can wake up tomorrow and be happy by taking charge of your current situation…or you can wake up tomorrow and be sad and keep your situation the same. You choose.” How do you think I woke up the next day? SIDEBAR: At the time of this therapy encounter I was severely depressed, but it was situational – not chemical. I’m not saying everyone has the ability to do what I did – mental illness is very real and I know for many it’s a struggle just getting through the day. BUT for the majority of us, we 100% can control our emotions – it’s you I’m speaking to.
Change your Outlook
The reason I spend so much time on helping people find their purpose is because it’s a driving force that builds resiliency and in turn confidence. Learning HOW to be confident is a process – understanding your belief systems, your values, your habits and then seeing where you are letting self-doubt sneak in.
Have you ever caught yourself saying:
“Why can’t I JUST be more like Ann – she’s thin, she has a great job, a nice husband…
“How come I’M NOT SUCCESSFUL?
“Am I JUST NOT SMART ENOUGH to get my dream job or reach my goal?
“I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, rich enough….[fill in the blank]…enough
If you have – you are setting yourself up for failure. You are going down the negative outlook path and it will serve you zero purpose.
Shift your outlook.
When you start feeling anxious, start going down the negative emotion path – recognize it and literally go to a mirror, stop and repeat the mantra
Why NOT me?
Why shouldn’t I have everything I desire?
Why am I wasting precious energy on anxiety and doubt?
Why am I doubting my competence – my super powers? Where is my damn cape!
Ask BETTER questions of yourself and you WILL get BETTER answers.
Watch your emotions – they matter.
Have an awesome weekend and happy SPRING!!!! New birth, new light, new beginnings – let it be you!